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Since Jesus Christ, the son of God (or so the gospels say)
Was crucified and then revivified on Easter Day (or so the gospels say)
Though theologians, monks and nuns, have excercised their brains
To define this life divine (semi-divine) - one question still remains...

Did Jesus fuck? He never did
Did Jesus fuck? He never did
Did Jesus fuck? Oh yes he fucking did!
Did Jesus fuck? He never did
Did Jesus fuck? He never did
Did Jesus fuck? Oh yes he fucking did!

If he did it would say in the bible
But the bible's unreliable
But it was written by the disciples
That's why the bible's unreliable
The disciples were his mates
They all knew he went on dates
But they kept it quiet for Jesus' sake
His virginity was fake

What about Mary Magdalene?
When she rubbed ointment on his feet
Did Jesus say "Oh Mary please would you rub somewhere else for me?"
There's some believe that he was gay
Lazarus from the grave
Wasn't the only thing he raised
What went on inside that cave?

Hallelujah
​Hallelujah​
Hallelujah
Halle-ooh-yeah!
Halle-ooh-yeah!
Halle-yeah-there!
There? Yeah! There? Yeah!
Halle-ooh-YEAH!!!

Oh Jesus come into my heart
(And every other body part)
Your testaments have got me in a tizz
I yearn for your eternal love
Now slip your hand into my glove
Is that a euphemism?
Yes it is!

Oh Lord above, underneath
And from behind your love unsheath
Come fill me til my cup doth runneth o'er
Onan spilled his seed upon the stony ground - let's get it on!
I'll be the seed if you will be the sower

Praise Hosannah! Gloriana!
Lay your hands upon my NA!NA!
Fix my frailties, heal my sickness
Part my seas with your sweet thickness
Let me feel your goodness IN me
Blow white smoke from your hot chimney
Father, son and Antichrist
My three in one, my JESUS CHRIST!

Did Jesus fuck? He never did
Did Jesus fuck? He never did
Did Jesus fuck? Oh yes he fucking did!
Did Jesus fuck? He never did
Did Jesus fuck? He never did
Did Jesus fuck? Oh yes he fucking
Did!Not!Did!Not!Did!Not!Did!Not!Did!Not!Did!Not!Oh yes he fucking did!

credits

from Personality Politics, released February 1, 2019

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